Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
