so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
