the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
