it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
