his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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