Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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