dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
