She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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