Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
