she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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