So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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