I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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