How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
