Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
