69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
