matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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