That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
