so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
