Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
