What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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