Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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