The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
