We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
