YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she smelled like a LAN party
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
