4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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