You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
