Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
