Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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