I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
