so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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