I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
