And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
