sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
