Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
