There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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