lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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