my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
