I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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