how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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