Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
