Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
