ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
