Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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