I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Randomize
