chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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