Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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