i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
this will be a night to untag.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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