I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I wish there were birth control emojis
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
