maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
