I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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