I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
