OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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