i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize