My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The uberlube is also flammable
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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