Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Every concussion has its silver lining
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
All the doctor said was why
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
