You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
