Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(727): View more from Florida

a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know

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(631): View more from New York

By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.

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(516): View more from New York

Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you

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(301): View more from Maryland

i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day

(240): View more from Maryland

hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine

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(541): View more from Oregon

I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.

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(443): View more from Maryland

we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice

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(941): View more from Florida

Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?

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(613): View more from Ontario

I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?

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(436): View more from

He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me

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